A third problem we have with forgiveness is that we tend to think of forgiveness as being about our feelings. “I don’t think I can forgive him, it’s still too painful.”
Shift your thinking. Forgiveness is more about what you DO toward a person (or don’t do) than it is about how you feel about him/her.
You may not be able to release that person emotionally, but:
- Can you do something good for them?
- If you can’t do something good for them, can you at least pray that God will bless them?
- If you can’t pray for God to bless them, can you at least pray that God will enable you to pray that he will bless them?
- If you can’t pray for God to enable you to pray blessings for them, can you at least stop praying that he/she dies a horrible, painful death?
God knows your weaknesses. He knows what you are capable of. He doesn’t expect you to do more than you are capable of doing.
And of the prayers that he honors, “Enable me by your Holy Spirit to …” is one that he honors the most.
So again: forgiveness is a process. You are not alone in this process, God is with you. Trust him with that.